The moment of clarity

Last October, I moved in with my boyfriend. My almost fatally, for the yard that is, single boyfriend of 44 yrs. Like most women, I had a moment of clarity in my relationship where I saw the weeds, dead lawn, and vast space that required my attention and I decided to do something about it.
I started with sympathy. That was my first mistake. The little weeds and three mutant peonies which were struggling to survive in the vast wasteland got me right where they wanted me, watering and documenting the entire affair.
Like any artist, I am sensitive to my environment and the struggles of any creature starving for survival. So, I begun documenting my boyfriends crime against nature, our neighbor's suffering, and the wildlife that was beginning to take on a flattened affect.
When you are faced with an epic disaster, point and click until your fingers bleed because, it could save a life. Your life when the peony you underestimated becomes agro, uproots itself in the middle of the night to feed on you and yours. With an army of weeds at it's side, you do not stand a chance my dear friend. Run! Run I tell you! Run...
I maybe exaggerating a bit but, not much! Once you have begun a garden, you have hopefully begun a lifetime commitment to getting your hands dirty while, others watch from a safe distance. Even if that means your in a hail storm, wet and covered in mud, praying to get that last Holly bush in before it freezes to death because, it has had time to plot with the peonies against you. The thought has occurred to you even as your being pelted by falling ice balls that if you don't, you will join it in Hell. Damned peonies...
Having a mutant peonies in your yard is a serious commitment. The kind of commitment you agree too when you join the mob. It requires a hefty shovel and strong stomach. It also requires complete secrecy. For example, they would not be pleased if anyone knew they can survive six months without being watered. It takes away their element of surprise!
Depending upon how long you waited before you rescued your yard, martial arts training may also be a requirement! Anyone who has ever had to deal with thistles will tell you that they are tough to evict from your premises.